DJ Wang the Bad Boy of Benches has some knowledge to drop on you:
Today was a glorious day in the BATTLE OF THE BENCH. Day 13? Day 17? Who knows??
We had a minor tiff with a certain group of ghetto punks that we have named “The Ghetto Punks”. This group of sock puppets are trying to be ghetto-fabulous in a land where they have no power.
They challenged us today after we attempted to steal their bench twice. They sent in this giant slab of ghetto-thug in a black “security” t-shirt. Apparently he is working his way up to green which is what the actual security guards wear.
He came over and started babbling something in ghetto. I was not entirely clear on what he said because I’m not fluent in ghetto.
So he went up to our biggest member of The Poss: The Funk Reaper. And The Funk Reaper stood his ground like a stone wall or something to that effect. Possibly titanium.
Then for no reason this ghetto-thug was like, “Hey DJ Benvenuto! I’ll bust your face in!” and DJ Benvenuto was all quiet because he weighs 100 or so pounds and also because he was busy contemplating whether or not he should just leap right on that thug’s back and stab him really good in his black “security” t-shirt. That ghetto “security” t-shirt.
So, well, then anyways the madness just ended. No one understood why, but it just did.
Then after school we got the power. The power of annoyance.
We did what we do best. We moved benches.
This is a complicated process. DJ Benvenuto had to explain many times and make a diagram. Maybe we will put it up.
RIA took The Ghetto Punks’ bench and moved it to the area that belongs to The People. We then took another bench that was already in The People’s area and moved it to RIA’s area. We then aligned this newly acquired bench with our other bench to form our new banquet table.
After this our next task was to take the Ghetto Rockers’ bench and move it to the Hardcore Rockers’ area (man, they are hardcore).
This was the best part.
We had DJ Benvenuto do a look out for the Greenbacks (those are the real security guards). He said there was one way down in the hall, so we had to move fast.
We all hoisted the bench together and shuffled our way as fast as we could. Yes I said shuffled. You can’t actually run with a heavy bench in your hands.
Unfortunately we weren’t shuffling fast enough because halfway there the Greenback walks right by us. But she was probably on wacky euphoria or something because amazingly enough absolutely nothing happened (you know RIA’s policy on “wacky” substances).
Mission accomplished.
Now the benches are in a nice arrangement around the RIA wasteland.
Who knows what the outcome of RIA’s strategic maneuvers will be on Monday but we know that it will be damn funny.
advertisement
-
-
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=
Blog
YouTube
Website
Buy Me a Coffee
.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.