The Promised Land



A photo of an open field on the edge of a forest.

DJ Wang the man with a handful of hatpins has this to say:

What didn’t happen today?

That would be a shorter response than this would be.

First off, I am late to 1st period by about three seconds all due to the fact that a lamester / Hulk Smash intern couldn’t figure out that you sometimes have to push a door open rather than pull it depending on what side you are on.

I sometimes wish I had Meta-Guy’s power to make my own entrances and exits. No more waiting on these people.

Well, I went to 1st period and rested up and read a good book, “How to Hypnotize Women and Fix Your Car in a Single Sitting”. You should pick it up at your local bookstore where DJ Benvenuto works. He’ll probably bite you though.

After that I went to sleep in the auditorium for about two hours. I was tired because I had just performed a one man, 50-puppet presentation for the other 37 puppets I placed in the front rows. I woke up just in time for some important stuff, lunch.

This is where it kicks into high gear.

DJ Hadoken and myself went to get some nutritional food but we could only find fried stuff. Imagine that.

Well, we headed to Riaopia and guess what we came across? Wrong! Our newest enemy, Ro-hole.

He raised all funk saying that our “hockey” sack playing was making too much noise.

First off, he needs to enunciate, it’s “Hacky Sack”.

So he kept it up and brought up DJ Benvenuto’s window breaking like six times. Pretending as if DJ Benvenuto had denied it, which he hadn’t. And continued to falsely blame another three window breakings on RIA too.

And then he told us to move the RIA bench and its crew across the walkway.

Well, we had no other choice, so we waited for him to call security. And call he did. And then guess who came in? Baldo! That’s right! He left his patrol for the student body to come assert his fake power and try to impress some youngsters.

So he told us to move and DJ Real asked simply for a reason. Nothing more. But Baldo continued to insult us by calling us “nobodies” and “nothings”.

Then he threatened DJ Real by saying, “Fine, you don’t want to be a nobody? Leave the bench here and sit there and be a man. Then I’ll give you a suspension and CSI.”

How did he plan to do both? You can only pick one of those options. Just goes to show what kind of people are in charge.

I personally think Baldo is sexually frustrated and was picked on in high school. So he came back for some petty revenge.

Well, after that we decided to move to The Promised Land. It actually has green grass and not dirt. But there is a down side. It smells.

I think it’s because RIA hasn’t marked their territory yet. You know, like how a wolf does.

Well, when we approached The Promised Land we were greeted by some of our followers. How great is that?

We decided to set up camp there and as the bell rang for next period some guy tried selling us a booze drink he calls “Yudka”. It’s a version of Vodka made of yuca instead of potatoes.

But that isn’t the end yet, no no no... We have a new Poss member. His name is The Savior.

I’ll explain. I was with DJ Hadoken after school when we came across The Savior. He said he actually overheard a notice to go to Riaopia and get people in trouble.

So if you are a part of the RIA Poss that knows us, stay away from Riaopia.

Head to The Promised Land.

Thank you Savior, for your inside info.

Keep on trucking, programming, or dancing or something.

Just keep doing something.


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