Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Review



Movie poster featuring Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft.

DJ Benvenuto the "security is no match for me" Raccoon has this to say:

Like DJ Wang said, I did get in a bit of a mess with the school “Greenbacks” on the last day of school.

Well, I was up to my old “shimmy up the gutter routine” when I had to jump off and run for it. I’m used to second story falls from running from animal control and escaping from prison back in Florence.

I ran back to my safe haven (the Dreamcast room) where I proceeded to kick some bootay at Soul Calibur. A little while later one of my informants (you know who you are) proceeded to tell me that there were about 6 security guards going after me.

So I stayed in the room and then I heard an announcement that said to not let anyone out of the classroom. I’m pretty sure that was because of my gutter shenanigan. Time passed and eventually I got away without a problem.

I even got pictures!

Sorry about the lack of updates.

We should start seriously working on the site in about a week or two, so don’t worry, you’ll be getting all your RIA goodness in huge, heaping spoonfuls soon.

One more thing, if you haven’t seen Tomb Raider yet... don’t bother.

Unless you want to see lop sided boobs, a naked guy taking a hot shower with his talking penis, a horny old man that has an explosion after talking to Lara and a pretty boy that likes dirty deeding the locals.

Oh yeah and lots of shooting and a whole scene at the ending....

*SPOILER... SORT OF!! SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER!!!!*

...involving time travel, a knife and the fact that Lara seems to be able to go back in time without meeting her former self (but let’s not get into a whole time travel debate) that doesn’t make much sense.

SPOILER OVER!

ALTHOUGH IT REALLY ISN’T A REAL BIG PLOT SPOILER SEEING AS HOW IT HAD ALMOST NO PLOT.

Well that’s all I have to say...

So until next time, make sure your boobs aren’t lopsided. It isn’t very attractive.

And stay away from pretty boys, they’re no good.

MORE UPDATES COMING SOON!


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