Revenge of the Bouncy Castle Gang...
Oh no, RIA Rangers?!?
Original Young Adult Fiction
Created by riafunk.com
The Bouncy Castle Gang returns!
(Don’t change that channel!)
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| Screw the hogs in the tight costumes. |
One weekday afternoon, at around 3:30 PM Eastern, 4:30 PM Pacific Time, in the
city of RIAgrove, evil had yet again begun to stir. The evil Bouncy Castle
Gang had decided to leave their dwellings and call up trouble at a local park.
“Hey, let’s go call up some trouble at the local park, how about it?” inquired
one of this gang’s lackeys on this particular morning.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. But first, allow me to observe what sort of people
are there right now. I must go alone, however, because I can’t risk being seen
with someone else there. Even though there are a good number of us here right
now and I run the risk of being attacked by certain groups of people, I have
to go alone. Any other way would be unacceptable. I must leave myself
perfectly open to a surprise attack,” responded the Bouncy Castle Gang Ring
Leader.
So he went to the park, and began to observe the sort of people that were
there and what they were doing.
|
| Those gold-blue tiger things too. |
“Nothing interesting, I see,” the Bouncy Castle Gang Ring Leader told himself
after observing the park for a few minutes. “It’s almost as if this were a
Sunday afternoon. On Sundays this world doesn’t exist. Only on weekdays does
anybody seem to come by this park, let alone, do anything. Always around the
same time too,” he scratched his chin, “but today is a weekday...”
“Ah, there is a group of un-suspecting basketball players. LET ME GO TAUNT
THEM NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
|
| I eat cats. |
“GAAAAAAAH! TAUNT TAUNT TAUNT TAUNT TAUNT!”
“YOU ARE ALL DOOMED HAHAHAHAHAHA!”
A few minutes of taunting passed, and dramatic music ensued.
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MY PANTS AND MY BABIES OH MY GOSH.
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Little did the Bouncy Castle Gang Ring Leader know was that the notorious
group, called the RIA Rangers, had been spying on him for the past two and a
half minutes. They had quickly devised a plan for a surprise attack and were
now ready to begin.
One must also take notice that only DJ Fuji the Man Scout, DJ Skittles and DJ
Wang were present at this time. DJ Hadoken and DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon were
trying to keep
Ultimo and
El Gran Salchichon
from bickering over who would get a special spot on the website this coming
week.
|
| Books. |
They quickly took this opportunity to morph into their secret identities. The
environment was perfect, they were in a public park, completely out in the
open. Nobody would notice. It was perfect.
“IT’S TIME FOR MEGA RIA-ORPH GO DJ FUJI GO DJ SKITTLES GO DJ WANG. LET’S
GO KICK SOME REAR NOW LET’S GO I’M READY ME TOO! RIGHT! LET’S GO!”
They first had to wait for the fog that was created by their transformation to
dissipate.
|
| Enthusiacaticatic McBow-wow. |
DJ Skittles skillfully approached the Bouncy Castle Gang Ring Leader and
tapped him on his shoulder, with such a precision that the Bouncy Castle Gang
Ring Leader could not help but feel surprised at what sort of touch this had
been.
|
| Dogs in the night. |
Then, just as the Bouncy Castle Gang Ring Leader was about to turn around and
tell this person just how good he was at tapping people...
BAM!
|
| Morning |
The Bouncy Castle Gang Ring Leader fell to the floor, crying, and then was
ambushed by DJ Wang.
“Surprise attack! Surprise attack!” the victim squealed.
|
| Rhythm Is A Dancer |
The Bouncy Castle Gang Ring Leader then quickly scrambled to his feet, and
began to run.
Assuming that he was retreating, the RIA Rangers pursued him. It was still
vital that they beat him senselessly before they allowed him to go home.
|
| Dirty deeds on the Phone |
Suddenly, he turned. Laughing maniacally, although, not like a Catastrophic
Maniac.
Fast-paced pop music then began to play.
|
| Speedy speed boy. |
“RIA Rangers, this will be the last time you meddle with me! You kooky teens!
I hate teenagers! They smell bad! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. It’s time for my secret
weapon!”
What will happen to our heroes?
What will happen?
Do you know?
I do!
All this and more when the RIA Rangers return!
Go visit the john.
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|
| i HATE goLDEN wINgs. |
“IT’S TIME FOR MEGA ENEMY-OF-RIA-ORPHIN-TRANSFORMATION! GO MEGA BOUNCY
CASTLE GANG RING LEADER! LET’S GO! LET’S GO! I’M READY! ROOOAR!”
|
| I WANT YOUR BABIES AND YOUR WIVES. |
“Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader ready for action. Are you ready for
this?”
|
| B |
“Go super-turbo attack!”
“We need to stop him before he destroys the whole city!” shouted DJ Fuji,
strategically parrying an attack by Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader.
“Right! Let’s knock him down and push him around for awhile!” DJ Skittles
replied.
“Let’s go mega-teamwork! We are friends!” shouted DJ Wang.
|
| = |
The pop music continues.
“Knock me down, eh? Well, try if you can! I’m going to jump off this tree in
the meantime, and when I come down, I’m going to land on top of DJ Wang!
You’ll never be able to stop me, NEVER! THIS WILL TEACH YOU ALL TO MEDDLE WITH
ME!”
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|
D
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The pop music continues.
“WAH-HAH-HAH!”
“NOO! DJ WANG! Are you alright?!?” shouted the other RIA Rangers.
“ARGH!” shouted DJ Wang.
“NOOO!” shouted DJ Fuji.
DJ Skittles raised his fist and nodded his head, “DJ Fuji, it’s time to get
serious! Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader means business! But we have to
remember that as long as we work as a team, nothing will get in our way! We
have to remember that love will also prevail! Let’s go! Let’s fight for the
power of love!”
|
| L |
DJ Skittles pointed towards the Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader and
exclaimed, “Quickly, DJ Fuji! Distract him while I run and leap into the air
and hit him with a jump kick!”
“Right!” DJ Fuji responded, then started throwing a temper-tantrum and
spinning in circles, babbling nonsense.
Meanwhile, DJ Wang, injured and on the floor, began to have whirling
gyrations.
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| I’M ON FIRE! |
BRRRRRAAAAAAM! FWAAAAPOW!
KERSPLUNK! KRAKABAMONUKOW!
“Everything happened so fast! I was caught off guard by those blasted RIA
RANGERS!” said the Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader.
“Even though I was busy having whirling gyrations, I managed to see that there
was an opening for me to attack,” said DJ Wang, while beating him with his
colorful rainbow-like sword.
DJ Skittles also had something to add and mentioned that his kick was merely a
DISTRACTO KICK!
I, the announcer, will explain the DISTRACTO KICK for those of you that
did not see the training episode.
It does nothing but distract and is no good as a real kick.
Tom the Island Dude was a master in this technique and educated DJ
Skittles in it.
Through the distraction efforts of DJ Fuji and DJ Skittles, the
Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader was so astronomically distracted he left
himself open to a DOUBLE RAGING POKE ATTACK!
Back to the sound effects.
SLAP! BOOM!
PRICKY PAM!
|
| Let me stick you tight. |
Suddenly, the Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader grabbed DJ Skittles by the
neck, “HA HA!! I USED THE ’I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT OR EXPLAIN IT
COUNTER ATTACK!!!’” he shouted.
This was an unexpected move from him, much like when somebody flips himself
over a guard rail for no reason and hurts himself.
DJ Fuji, who at the time was still babbling and spinning, realized that he
must help DJ Skittles or the band would be holding auditions for a new lead
singer.
|
| Did I ever mention I love you? |
The sound of DJ Fuji’s sword slicing through the air is all that can be heard
until the Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader starts making weird sounds of
pain like: “AWAGH!,” “GROOUGH!” and “BRRRRINGO!”
DJ Skittles was still in danger. That death grip was still on his neck. If the
Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader were to fall forward then RIA would most
certainly need a new singer.
Offscreen: “NOOoooOOOooOOooo! WE LOVE YOU SKITTLES!”
WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!
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| WANG CAM |
Surprisingly, the Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader suddenly lets go of DJ
Skittles and manages to escape once again.
That dastardly fiend won’t escape, for our defenders of justice have to win,
otherwise it would break the unwritten rule of the Rangers.
What is that? If your superhero name ends in Ranger(s) and you are good, you
will win or get spiffier costumes and then win.
RIA RANGERS SAVE ANGEL GR...
I mean... Miami...
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| My cat head is about to burst |
The RIA Rangers have caught up. Will it end now? But we still have some 5
minutes or so before the next show starts...
“We have you now. The power of love will prevail,” said DJ Fuji.
“RAINBOW SWORD POWERS ACTIVATE!!” yelled DJ Wang.
“I want some ice cream...” said the Mecha-Bouncy-Castle-Gang-Ring-Leader,
knowing that defeat was unavoidable.
Strange chanting is heard in the background.
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| Cats, goats, poop |
Chanting continues, gets louder.
“Wait, wait, wait, I can’t fight to this strange chanting. Who put this music
on?” asked DJ Wang.
Off in the distance something strange is seen.
Could it be the source of the music?
What can it be?
It’s probably a trap. I mean, isn’t it always a trap?
Nevertheless, the curiosity is too great for any of them to resist. Off they
go to investigate. Bad guys can wait... or come along.
WHAT COULD IT BE?!?
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| You wet your pants |
It seems that the chanting comes from there! Our stars have found the source.
They are being drawn to it. What does it say?
THE JUDGEMENT DAY
FACING THE FINAL COURT
Who could have placed that there?
|
| ?_? |
It is mystifying.
They bow and chant. They can not help it.
It has taken control of them!!!!
HELP!! SPIDER-MAN!!
HELP! SAVE THEM!!!
No use...
Oh well, I tried.
|
| O-Zone |
Chanting continues.
The bystanders are terrified!
Look at them walk away very slowly. That’s it. They walk away slowly because
there are only a few minutes of showtime left and they know the RIA Rangers
will win.
Yes, that must be it.
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| MEOW MEOW COW |
Moaning continues.
Let’s all look at the pretty steeple! Wait! Is it a steeple? Or is it a
deceptively weenie symbol?!?!?
If you don’t know what that means, it means MAN POWER BABY!
|
| I wish... |
After being mesmerized at the previous symbol, the RIA Rangers quickly recall
what it is they were doing.
They shift their gaze and notice that the Bouncy Castle Gang Ring Leader is at
his most vulnerable position.
With only 10 seconds left of air time, they move to strike!
|
| Mama dama wama. |
NO MORE MAN POWER FOR THE BOUNCY CASTLE GANG RING LEADER!
The RIA Rangers quickly eliminate any possibility of future generation Bouncy
Castle Gang Ring Leader children and prepare for the conclusion of this show.
|
| Eat cereal. |
Thus, the RIA Rangers are triumphant.
After much struggle and uncertainty, the outcome proved itself to be
completely random. It would have been impossible for anyone to predict which
side would win in this struggle.
That is why this show must go on. It will receive more and more ratings as it
continues to leave viewers in constant suspense as to the outcome of similar
battles.
Sooner or later, someone will make a movie out of all this.
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| bee. |
Let’s all go eat ice cream at the cookie shop!
Then we can go outside and play!
Yay!
The end.
___
Did you miss the Bouncy Castle Gang’s first appearance?
Check out the re-run!
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