DJ Benvenuto the "still rather annoyed at the entire world" Raccoon has this to say:
FCAT, FCAT, FCAT... something I have come to hate.
I passed it fine. I found it easy. I found it stupid. I
find it stupid. Now that I don’t have to take it anymore I
still find it stupid.
IF I can get my digital camera to work I’ll share my opinion
visually with all of you. Hopefully, I will be
able to get it to work. Although, my computer has been
misbehaving recently.
I think I’ll stop about the FCAT for now...
Wait, first I have to say, the movie Pearl Harbor really sucks and tomorrow we’re watching A Knight’s Tale and Pay It Forward. Hopefully one of these will be a decent movie.
Now, as for the Super Mario Brothers Movie review that I promised, here it is.
I won’t beat around the bush. This movie sucks Bob Hoskins’s confused little wee-wee.
Wait, first I have to say, the movie Pearl Harbor really sucks and tomorrow we’re watching A Knight’s Tale and Pay It Forward. Hopefully one of these will be a decent movie.
Now, as for the Super Mario Brothers Movie review that I promised, here it is.
I won’t beat around the bush. This movie sucks Bob Hoskins’s confused little wee-wee.
It is bad.
John Leguizamo somehow managed to make Luigi look like he
sniffed paint when he was young and Bob Hoskins well...
yeah he sucked as Mario too, but Leguizamo was
worse.
First of all, most of you already know the basic concept of the Mario Brothers games and hell this movie does just about everything to veer away from the games.
About 30 minutes into the movie you will start wondering what went through the writers’ minds. This movie just gets so crazy and so “un-Mario” that you start wishing you were watching Breakin’ or Street Fighter: The Movie instead.
First of all, most of you already know the basic concept of the Mario Brothers games and hell this movie does just about everything to veer away from the games.
About 30 minutes into the movie you will start wondering what went through the writers’ minds. This movie just gets so crazy and so “un-Mario” that you start wishing you were watching Breakin’ or Street Fighter: The Movie instead.
Street Fighter: The Movie and Breakin’ were both really
bad movies but they are the kind of bad movies you like to watch. I
have probably watched Street Fighter: The Movie over
10 times and I still laugh every time General Sawada says
his line or when Zangief says “Queek cheinj the chahnil!"
There was only one time I bust out laughing during Super Mario Bros. The Movie and I almost feel guilty for laughing, but more on that later.
There was only one time I bust out laughing during Super Mario Bros. The Movie and I almost feel guilty for laughing, but more on that later.
Unfortunately, this movie never quite went from bad-bad to
bad-good. Rocky Morton should go speak to
Street Fighter: The Movie’s director (Steven E. de Souza).
Did I mention how every woman in the movie seems to have been “de-evolved” into a skank? And Mario seems to love ’dem skanks. If he’s not rescuing them, he’s dating them, and if he’s not dating them, he’s makin’ the junior Super Mario Brothers.
Mario, oh Mario, what would the Princess say? Oh that skank is too busy getting “piped” by Luigi to care (ha ha pun... remember the green pipes from the games?!). Little did she know Luigi would eventually get shot in Collateral Damage.
Oh, and when Mario isn’t on level 6-9 he’s busy with some dominatrix that wants his little Italian wee-wee.
I saw this movie a long time ago, and hell, I’m glad it was so long ago that I couldn’t remember it. This is the stuff brain damage is made of. No, better yet... The movie brain damage was made for!!
Oh, and back to the lone thing I had mentioned that I had laughed about in the movie.
Did I mention how every woman in the movie seems to have been “de-evolved” into a skank? And Mario seems to love ’dem skanks. If he’s not rescuing them, he’s dating them, and if he’s not dating them, he’s makin’ the junior Super Mario Brothers.
Mario, oh Mario, what would the Princess say? Oh that skank is too busy getting “piped” by Luigi to care (ha ha pun... remember the green pipes from the games?!). Little did she know Luigi would eventually get shot in Collateral Damage.
Oh, and when Mario isn’t on level 6-9 he’s busy with some dominatrix that wants his little Italian wee-wee.
I saw this movie a long time ago, and hell, I’m glad it was so long ago that I couldn’t remember it. This is the stuff brain damage is made of. No, better yet... The movie brain damage was made for!!
Oh, and back to the lone thing I had mentioned that I had laughed about in the movie.
Well, it’s a very evil thing to say but it was an odd,
unexpected and shocking scene. Sadly, it involved the
Twin Towers. In this scene, with “King Koopa” (I use that term
loosely cuz it’s just some guy (Dennis Hopper) with an
odd haircut) when the two worlds start to “merge”.
Yes, that was the stupid plot. Koopa wants to merge
“Dinohattan” and Earth. The Twin Towers start to
dematerialize in a scene that is just way too damn
reminiscent of recent events.
We all started to laugh when that scene came on. Sure, it was tasteless and insensitive of us to laugh, but that was just such a creepy and absurd scene that it made us laugh. It was so unexpected that we just couldn’t help it.
We all started to laugh when that scene came on. Sure, it was tasteless and insensitive of us to laugh, but that was just such a creepy and absurd scene that it made us laugh. It was so unexpected that we just couldn’t help it.
All in all, Super Mario Bros. The Movie should burn in hell.
We gotta watch Surf Ninjas. Hopefully that’s a bad-good movie.
Burn, Rocky Morton, burn!! You too, Annabel Jankel.
Two Baldwins in one day... Alec and Stephen... too much Baldwin...
Who am I gonna dastardly deed first? Me or myself?
I may write about the bench and the shoes ordeal tomorrow... needless to say, what happened was quite interesting.
More interesting than Super Mario Bros. The Movie.
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