DJ Wang the cybernetic porn star magician has this to hump about:
La di da... Today was different.
Decided to go bowling with Firemonkey, The Funk Mistress and another member of The Poss.
We were in lane 71 and were surrounded by annoying lamesters on both sides.
On my left, they were all like pirates.
Here was their crew: crazy haired captain, abominable quartermaster, a wanna-be master gunner and a couple of cabin boys.
They were taking off their shirts and constantly grabbing at each other.
AND THAT’S JUST LANE 70!
And to my right, on lane 72, was this skinny, short, wiry kid, bouncing off the wall and another crazed looking kid who spoke to the bowling balls. Not just the one he was holding, but all of them while they waited in that little ball caddy thing that returns the ball.
For some reason, the lane 70 and lane 72 lanes broke down like 9 times.
At one point, they all decided to bowl in pairs with each other. It was pirate crew and crazed kid combo madness.
I think my brain was going to explode.
But on the bright side, I won all 4 games that we played.
BULLETS IN YO FACE SPACE MONKEY!
YOUR MONKEY BALL WON’T SAVE YOU NOW!
When the fun was over, The Funk Mistress and I went down to McDonald’s because she was hungry (me so hungy).
So she wanted an iced tea and an ice cream cone.
Not that hard of an order to fill. But this is crazy half-assed backwards McDonald’s.
Here is how it went:
DJ Wang: Yeah, umm I’ll take an iced tea.
Hamburglar: Sweetened or unsweetened? Robble. (I love the name tags that jobs provide. Makes it easier to find a name for this little skit).
DJ Wang: Sweetened.
Hamburglar: We don’t got that, robble. Only unsweetened. But I can give you a whole lotta shuga (yeah, “shuga”).
DJ Wang: Yeah, sure that will be fine. And an ice cream cone, vanilla.
Hamburglar: Sorry robble, the ice cream is too soft for the cone. (What the hell?!) You like, want it in a cup? I can put a whole mess of chocolate syrup on it, my treat, robble. (That’s right, peddle the ice cream to us.)
DJ Wang: Naw. That’s fine. Just the iced tea.
Hamburglar: Sweetened or unsweetened? Robble. (I love the name tags that jobs provide. Makes it easier to find a name for this little skit).
DJ Wang: Sweetened.
Hamburglar: We don’t got that, robble. Only unsweetened. But I can give you a whole lotta shuga (yeah, “shuga”).
DJ Wang: Yeah, sure that will be fine. And an ice cream cone, vanilla.
Hamburglar: Sorry robble, the ice cream is too soft for the cone. (What the hell?!) You like, want it in a cup? I can put a whole mess of chocolate syrup on it, my treat, robble. (That’s right, peddle the ice cream to us.)
DJ Wang: Naw. That’s fine. Just the iced tea.
And we didn’t even get the damn SUGAR!
About war journal submissions, send them in!
Firemonkey’s review of The Scorpion King might be added to the archive of the crazy stuff we have.
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