Sayonara Samurai
Original Young Adult Fiction
Written by The Funk Mistress
Part Two
“...So then, you see, the evil English Protestants lay down their reign over sweet Catholic Ireland...”
“That’s really interesting,” sighed DJ Hadoken. But on the inside, he was bored out of his mind. Some Irish guy he met at the airport was talking to him and wouldn’t shut up.
The Funk Mistress was annoying, but she was funny once in a while. This Irish
guy was just stupid!
His whole flight so far had literally gone something like this:
“Blah, blah, blah... Celtic knots... green... shamrocks... leprechauns...
blah, blah, blah... beer... pubs... crack is slang for fun... blah, blah,
blah... IRA... Protestant England... Orange Order.”
Poor DJ Hadoken was an inch away from a ritualistic stomach ache.
At least they would be landing soon...
Suddenly, the airplane jostled and shook.
“Sweet Mary and the baby Jesus!” shouted the Irish guy. “I’ll bet we have some bloody English piece of shite flying this thing!”
DJ Hadoken looked out his window.
Suddenly, the airplane jostled and shook.
“Sweet Mary and the baby Jesus!” shouted the Irish guy. “I’ll bet we have some bloody English piece of shite flying this thing!”
DJ Hadoken looked out his window.
There was something on the wing!
Just kidding there. This isn’t Twilight Zone: The Movie.
But what DJ Hadoken did see when he looked out the window was more frightening
than something on the wing.
Some giant deceptively demotic killer robots were attacking the plane.
Man, when this was over, The Funk Mistress and DinoGirl were going to rub this
one in his face for a long time.
TheFunkMistress: OMG! Did you hear what happened, Wang?
TheBigDJWang: ?
TheFunkMistress: Giant deceptively demotic killer robots attacked a plane on the way to Japan from Miami!
TheBigDJWang: You don’t think it was the one Hadoken was on do you?
TheFunkMistress: ...
TheFunkMistress: Uhm... yeah.
TheBigDJWang: I was afraid you’d say that. I’ll get everyone to meet where we eliminated Tinkles.
TheFunkMistress: Is it really wise to go back to the place where my brother ruthlessly dastardly deeded a karate teddy bear in my name?
TheBigDJWang: Of course not, but we’re going to do it for two reasons. One, RIA doesn’t do the brightest things. Two, if you haven’t noticed, you’ve been referencing some classic RIA things throughout this story (Meat Lover’s Pizza, Fuji’s big head, Chupacabra Loco). Frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t brought up the time Benny and Hadoken said that you were too obsessed with Darth Maul or when you and your friend went on a Hulk Smash hunt. Anyway, what better way to continue the trend than to shamelessly plug your own stories, you shameless advertising whore.
___
Meanwhile, on AOL Instant Messenger...
TheFunkMistress: OMG! Did you hear what happened, Wang?
TheBigDJWang: ?
TheFunkMistress: Giant deceptively demotic killer robots attacked a plane on the way to Japan from Miami!
TheBigDJWang: You don’t think it was the one Hadoken was on do you?
TheFunkMistress: ...
TheFunkMistress: Uhm... yeah.
TheBigDJWang: I was afraid you’d say that. I’ll get everyone to meet where we eliminated Tinkles.
TheFunkMistress: Is it really wise to go back to the place where my brother ruthlessly dastardly deeded a karate teddy bear in my name?
TheBigDJWang: Of course not, but we’re going to do it for two reasons. One, RIA doesn’t do the brightest things. Two, if you haven’t noticed, you’ve been referencing some classic RIA things throughout this story (Meat Lover’s Pizza, Fuji’s big head, Chupacabra Loco). Frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t brought up the time Benny and Hadoken said that you were too obsessed with Darth Maul or when you and your friend went on a Hulk Smash hunt. Anyway, what better way to continue the trend than to shamelessly plug your own stories, you shameless advertising whore.
___
READ
CARNEVIL
AND
SCHOOL DAZE!
IF YOU DON’T, I’LL SEND THE GENERAL AFTER YOU!
IN FACT, GO READ
FUN AT THE ZOO
ALSO!
DAMNIT, YOU SHOULD HAVE READ THIS STUFF BY NOW!
GO! NOW!
DON’T READ FURTHER UNTIL YOU’VE READ THE OTHER ONES!
GO NOW!!!!
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