First Hero



A black and white image of a dark and dusty barren forest.

Kewl Kat has this to say:

The Funk Mistress has survived an espionage mission in Transylvania.

She has managed to survive and sent us message wit her messenger, TornadoChaser. According to The Funk Mistress, Hurricane Wilma and the Army of Dracula beat her up after they dastardly deeded her small reconnaissance unit.

But now she is safely in the Forest of Romania without food or any contact to the outside world. Her CB radio was stolen by Dracula so he could communicate with truckers.

Soon, I will be sending an Army with provisions and weapons for The Funk Mistress and new mission orders.

An image of the good luck Care Bear.
Until then, I must give The Funk Mistress the power of the Irish Bear.


An image of a purple heart medal.
And the RIAfunk Purple Heart Medal for Valor in the Face of Danger.


Read the Raccoon’s Funk Update. It’s important.

Damn you Hurricane Wilma for destroying the 305!

Until another time,
Sir Kat is out!


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